A taste of the south.

I picked up a map of TN the very next day after I arrived, that highlighted historic sites. I've carried it with me every time I've left the house. I've been here 2 and 1/2 weeks now and I've finally enjoyed my first historic site! Scott and I decided to head on to Murfreesborro, which is about 45 minutes away. Its a very unique town that is home to Middle TN State College and the proud home of site #47!! Stones River National Battlefield. YEP! That's right! I went to a Civil War battlefield site! It was awesome... This girl is more than a pretty face, LOL! I love history and State Parks! Our fist stop was the Stones River Memorial. I thought it was incredible. It was neat to read that its the oldest & only memorial that was built by actual civil war soldiers. It was actually erected only 6 months after the famous battle. Funny story about this short self guided tour... We were the only ones there and did it in shifts. What I mean by that is I went first and Scott waited in his truck with the AC on with Charlie who was sound asleep! Then after I got back, he went. 'Never wake a sleeping baby' Ha! Addison stayed home w/her Nana (Scott's) mom. It was a sight to see. Next we went to the National cemetery and from there we went to the museum. We learned all about the particulars of the battle. It was really neat for me personally to soak up some history. My husband is very proud of where he grew up and where we live now. So for me to hear words like 'along the Cumberland' and the 'Nashville Pike' then to see pictures of the Nashville Union Station, which is still in tact today was just awesome. Driving through TN is amazing in itself... From green hills, and fields spread out for miles with random old barns, that have beauty in their own right, to huge brick mansions with amazing columns. This time my eyes see, several large civil war cannons in the field as we drive by. My heart was truly overwhelmed. War is and always has been uniquely intense for me. I know its a heavy subject for everyone and we all have our own views, for me its personal. My grandfather was in WWII, my father was out to sea during the Persian Gulf and in college my Political Science Thesis was on 'combat compliance'. Americans killing Americans, fighting for a personal belief, a way of life that they believed with all their heart was right, and the only way. To walk out into that battlefield and see the cedar tree's, the trenches between the rocks and the open field, knowing that each side was only 100 yards apart, 1 football field length away from death as they bedded down, the night before battle. The view was amazing and I left with a heavy heart. At one point during our self guided tour, we walked out into the woods. Real woods! I saw bugs, heard bugs and felt bugs. I don't think I will ever forget the sound, smell and images that were just put in my head from the historic reenactment video I had just watched and then to be standing out in the middle of it. Seeing the abandoned artillery, seeing the oddly shaped rocks that had been altered from being struck during battle. I was so overwhelmed that I actually had a panic attack in the woods. I began to sweat, my head started to spin, I heard sounds, voices, & gunfire. I saw smoke in the air, blood on the rocks and I smelled death. As I spun in a circled I called for Scott, he was way off in the distance. He took off away from the path, I lost all focus and I knew my face was a pale white as my knees began to buckle. I took off to head back to the truck. I just had to get out of there. My mind was just too out of control. I was scared, overwhelmed with fear. I of course expressed that it was a simple problem of dehydration. I get 'sun sick' a lot and always have to drink water while I'm outside. Scott blamed in on the fact that I was in the woods in a white sun dress and flip flops! Yes, I am a true Californian...

We also went to a State park today called 'Cedars of Lebanon' this is a beautiful sight as well. Tall, old, green cedar trees as far as the eyes can see. Amazing sights, I've never seen anything like that before. They have, campsites, cabins for rent, a large swimming pool and an awesome play area for the kids. We also saw a huge horse stables that had horses available for ride. We decided to go back and ride the horses, one day... I've only rode a horse once before when I was a young girl. My best friend growing up in 29 Palms had horses and I was always too nervous. My brother and sister in law have a horse too and believe it or not for about 3 years now, I've wanted to ask if I could go for a ride and learn!! I just never had the courage to ask... I am excited about going riding with Scott though. I know it will be fun to learn something with him. Well he knows how, but I know I will really enjoy learning and experiencing something new with him.

It was fun to spend the day with Charlie too. She really enjoyed herself. Our lives are about to go through some more changes and we are all going to get super busy as well. I'm sure we will both be going to work full time really soon. Scott's interview went awesome yesterday and they are checking his references. I'm going back for another interview with one company tomorrow and I already have received one offer. Charlie Mae will be starting preschool on Tuesday! She will be going M-F from 8-12. She is so excited about school. When we went and met with the director and took a tour she charmed her way in and just loved the atmosphere. She has asked to go back everyday since. It will be such an adjustment taking her somewhere, but I know that she will love it. As for Addison, we haven't found a day care place for her yet. I have a few more places that I'd like to check out before I make a decision. I'm just overwhelmed with the whole idea of day care. Trust me I understand the concept of I have to do what I have to do, but still its difficult. I stayed home with Charlie until she was 2. Addison is 6 months old. And I honestly haven't wrapped my brain around it yet. I guess I'll cross that bridge once I get a job and go to work. Addison is doing very well. She is trying really hard to crawl. She gets her tummy & but off the ground but moves backwards as she so happily kicks those legs. She has an amazing, beautiful smile. When she smiles her blue eyes just light up her whole face. And she has the cutest dimple that sits so high on her cheek. She sits so tall and stable now too. She couldn't sit when we got to TN, but now she'll sit and play with her toys and even reach and pick ones up that are around her. She is happy all the time and will go to anyone. Charlie is adjusting well. She is very loving towards her sister and still always wants to help me when it comes to her. She loves holding her, is always talking to her and wants to play. Addison just smiles and laughs!

Even though I am having a blast, making new friends, and have a lot going for me, I've been very home sick this week. I really missed being with my family on Charlie's birthday. It was so hard for me. Normally I'm only an hour and 20 minutes away from my mom and sister, but not anymore. Also, it marked 4 months since the passing of my grandma. I think about her often and miss her so much. She just had an amazing way of making me feel good about myself and always showed me that there were many views to look at each situation. She was an amazing person who impacted my life so much and I just get sad when I think that I can't hear her voice as I know she would know exactly what to say. There are so many changes and adjustments going on for my family all at once. The weather is so tough on me... Oh and the bugs. I don't know what it is but I'm constantly being bitten and I'm having some sort of reaction to the bites. I know, I know stop complaining already! But hey its my blog! Also, I'm not sleeping well so I'm cranky! Too cranky for Scott, ha! I just keep telling myself it will all get better when I get a job. When I feel like I'm a part of something I'll be ok.. I'm on my 5th interview with this company tomorrow morning! So hopefully I'll get an offer soon. Wish me luck!!
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